Poetry by Grace Beilstein

The American Smile

Americans smile too much,

gratitude heaped like mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving —

thanking and thanking,

timid and thoughtful of the boisterous American

who talks crudely to waiters and expects anyone

and everyone

to do him favors, just because his is boldly, unashamedly,

American.

From a foreign eye,

the expectation of smiling

is uncomfortable,

overwhelming at times.

is it not okay to

not be okay?

The cheery response

“Yes, I’m good!

My day’s been great!”

as the world tumbles down around you,

your family drifting apart

the turmoil burning and bubbling

until you come to resent

the well-intentioned small talk

that fills space like a pungent stink.

Oh, but the perfect is the enemy of the good —

it’s hard to have a day that’s THAT bad here in the great USA:

every problem, just one step from resolution,

no difference too great to overcome.

Oh, but is perfectionism not one of those deeply American qualities —

no one ever works hard enough,

gives back enough,

reaches that lofty potential they’re given as a

GT kid back in primary school.

if everything is opportunity,

then how are we ever truly “okay” with today,

as it basks in its incompleteness,

its nationalist inadequacy.

We refine our language to take in what’s around us,

nixing “ums” and “likes” as we mature

and realize

orange nails just aren’t professional,

that “dope” isn’t a response for corporate America.

The molding is gradual —

pouring ourselves into the mold of Ann Taylor pantsuits

and accepting that personality is best served like creamer —

just a drop here and there,

a decorative bracelet or

a bold pair of earrings.

If I just lost five more pounds…

If I just spent a little more money …

If I had just paid him a little more attention …

maybe everything could be

real and

perfect.

If you smile, you feel better.

If you smile, you might just convince them all that this is

just what you aspired to be and

it’s only them who’s suffering.

If you smile, you’re American,

pushing happiness off as a goal post

and not a choice made every glorious, American day.

Relish the moments of

I’m-disappointed-and-need-to-cry,

I-won’t-just-roll-over,

they will challenge you more than you think.

Freedom,

raw and unsmiling.

Grace Beilstein (she/her) is a student at The Kinkaid School in Houston, Texas. She writes flash fiction, poetry, and prose. She is one of three main editors of her school's award-winning literary magazine "Falcon Wings."