grief of my griefs
I had a dream where I went to where you’re resting now & every crevice in the cemetery was filled with sand. I remembered my youth & the way we used to tease you with our freedom— laughter in the fact that we kids never had to cook, clean, or care for the province-sized population of our home. my hourglass ran slower than yours did, so I spent my evenings sitting on our strip of the beach; skipping stones into the ocean while you were splitting peas & planning the next week’s worth of meals. this is your place: keeper of my cousins & queen of this part of the world, as far as I was concerned. I remember running circles around you in the kitchen, begging you to drop everything & leave; come see what we had all been building. Lola, you have given me everything I have asked for that lives within the land & I would do anything to return your final years back to you. the West on my back, if I could— trinkets & all the money for medicine we dreamed of. Lola, grief of my griefs, my youth feels like fantasy now. like sunlight glistening over the sea— I have lived & been daughter to too many countries.
Nashira is an Afro-Pinay/Polynesian artist & activist from Cebu. She uses art as a weapon to champion for the rise & recognition of women of color. On Tumblr as @nashira and Instagram & Twitter as @nashxra. She is a regular contributor for Marías at Sampaguitas.
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