Thick Thighs and Trying Times
I bought a pair of high waisted jeans that button and zip—
not jeggings.
Jeggings were the only pant I could wear since I gained fifty pounds in college.
At this point, I do not care if I have a thigh gap or not, though I did admire the tiny one I saw in the mirror.
When I wore those high waisted jeans that button and zip,
I did not so much care about the size of my middle, or the size of my thighs.
I get it, I’m not skinny, and I don’t need anyone to tell me that.
I do not see myself as fat, even if my thighs close.
Four years, I have been belittled about the clothes I’ve donned.
That dress shows your rolls, it isn’t flattering!
But I choose to dress myself in dignity and even ripped holes in one of my pairs of black jeggings
as a way of saying “you don’t define my wardrobe anymore,”
which was funny because I had just ordered another pair of jeans that button and zip
that, ironically, show my thighs – my snow-white thighs that boys in the middle ages would have thought were sexy.
So, don’t you dare tell me I should go tanning—
that is but a mindset when I wore jeggings and went to high school semis.
Why should I mind that my skin, too, is stretched similarly to a tiger with no fur?
Why should I exercise so boys can say, “you have the physique of an angel?”
Why should I conform to the appearance ideals?
I may have bought a pair of high-waisted jeans that button and zip,
but I love the way they accentuate the bottom-half of my stomach,
I love the way my curves ebb and flow throughout my silhouette
to match the kinks in my hair.
But let us not forget that your size and your body type,
do not define the type
of person you are on the inside.
April Frances Federico is an up-and-coming poet, journalist, activist, and visual artist. She has a specific ardor for women's rights and Title IX issues. She is a huge literature nerd studying Creative Writing with minors in Arts Management and Visual Arts at Roger Williams University. She is also the voice behind The April Diaries and her work has been published in Rose Quartz, Ayaskala, honey & lime lit, Kissing Dynamite, Satin Soulbits, and HEAL(er) Mag.
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