Valium Hippy's real name is Rogério Berardo Filho, a writer from and living in Recife, northeastern Brazil. He was born in 1999 and is the author of a short story in english (Wild Rose Thorn) and a poetry collection in portuguese (Hippy Melancólico). You can find him on Instagram @valiumhippy and @valiumhippyway (poetry) and on Twitter @valiumhippy.
You started writing when you’re 12 years old and you had begun with fan fiction (Harry Potter), after 4 years you began to write poetry. Did you leave fan fiction because of growing up and when did you exactly realize your affinity for poetry?
Yeah, fanfiction is where my nightmare started - just kidding, I do love everything that the art of writing provided me. And also yeah, I grew up and didn't feel like fanfiction was a home for me anymore - I still find it amazing till this day. I mean, I love me some Harry Potter, I love the books I read as a child/pre-teen, even though JK Rowling has revealed herself a real pathetic act. But I wanted to make my own stories, including my life's one (in my poems). I'm not sure when I decided to become a poet, which is a shame because I’d love to have a story to tell about that shit but I just can't remember, it's hidden it the back of my mind. Guess it was a very smooth transition, that one from fanfiction to poetry and short stories.
You write in English and Portuguese. Which one, do you think, more elastic and fluid for poetry? How do you define your relationship with these two languages?
For poetry, English. It's easier to do the Madonna thing (Express Yourself! Love that song). So one curious fact is that I get fucking confused in my daily life, especially since I started mixing the languages in my social media posts... Sometimes I'm talking to mom and suddenly I don't know the words in Portuguese to say what I want to say anymore. It's funny, but also a little bit weird in a bad way... I mean, I should be able to say everything with my mother-tongue.
Do you feel like your poetry falls under a certain category, such as experimental, contemporary, etc.? If you could have your work associated with another poet, who would it be and why?
I think my poetry falls into shitty poetry, but in a good fucking way - Also it would be an honour to be associated with anyone who made it already, since I'm really struggling to make it to this thing I call the 'spotlight', or whatever. I mean, as long as they don't describe my poems as 'millenial' or some similar shit, I'm fine with being associated with anyone.
You born in Brazil and your first works were in Portuguese and you caught a rhyme in this language for poetry. Then you went on with English. Did you find the same “rhyme” in English? Or what can you say about the contemporary poetry dynamics for these languages?
I can rhyme in any language, that's why I wish I were a songwriter for a pop star, like Miley Cyrus, or me myself being a pop star. I guess if my shit had happy music behind it, it wouldn't sound so sad - like The Smiths' lyrics. I started my poems in English with rhyme, because that was the only poetry I knew - in Brazil, most poetry rhymes. Since I found out rhyme isn't a thing in the English-language poetry nowadays I discovered freedom, cause now I can write it however I want it to be without worrying about rhyme. I still love me some rhyme - but I prefer worrying only about how impactful the chosen words are and also about the flow of the poem overall. It's easier when it doesn't rhyme.
Can you tell us about your first self-published book “Wild Rose Thorn” in 2017? Where may the readers find it to read?
I'm really proud of that shit. The Portuguese poetry one, not so much, but this one is good shit. It's on Amazon. I wrote this because I was bored with life and at the time, my Borderline Personality Disorder was just diagnosed. When you get this diagnosis and they tell you there's no cure for that behaviour, you're like: "I'm screwed. I'm fucked. My life will be shit" - But it doesn't have to be that way. So I think writing WRT was my coping mechanism at the time. It's a shame that very few people actually cared about it, but whatever, I put my blood and sweat in making this something I'm proud of. It's a story about Borderline Disorder itself, but it has lots of horror elements, and a conspiracy cult and attention-seeking behaviour. I also put a female as the protagonist because Borderline is more common among the girls - But looking back on where I am right now as a mental health activist, I should've put a guy in this role as a statement about males having this terrible thing too.
After a short while your first book, you were published by a Brazilian press in Portuguese and this time it was a poetry book. How were reactions to this book and what were the main subjects of the book? Do you want to translate it and to get published by a English press?
People around me who bought this book really enjoyed it - myself, not so much these days. It was published last year but most of the poems were in the work since, like, 2015? It's my sad, tragic life in poems, to make the long story short - The title literally says "Melancholic Hippy". I'm not that guy anymore. The best thing I've heard about it was that it was "very sad, but not pity-worthy". I think that's how I want to be seen. I want people to know I went through hell, but I don't want no fucking pity party on me.
In your poems “Penis Size”, “Portrait of a Male” and “Sleeping Naked”, main themes are widening between masculinity, sexuality and self-perception. How do you take these themes while you write a short story? Or do you choose different themes, can you tell us?
I really like these, especially "Portrait Of A Male", that's an especially good one - very excentric. Masculinity is weird, there is pressure, but there are also privileges. I don't write short stories about things I've experienced, though. I put it all on my poems. Most short stories I write are for contests and they have themes, so I can't really fit my own story in that shit. Short stories are the fruit of my sick, creative mind, if you don't mind my pseudo-narcisism. My next move as a writer will be a short story book that I hope I can publish in both languages I speak and all of the five stories are based on what I've heard from other people - Things that happened to them. It's fucking incredible
Is it possible for define your style as queer?
As in weird and gay? Hell yeah. I write about my life, and my life is very flamboyant, and also a bit tragic, like my poems "Angelina Jolie" and "Mountain Lions" show. Also, not all of my love poems are from male-to-male relationships though. I fell in love with people from a different gender before.
Are there any immediate events or publications that you have coming up that you want the readers to know about?
I have a short story book coming out and I hope I get it translated to English. I'm not sure when that shit will come out, I don't have a date yet, but it's the best thing I ever wrote. Also, my debut poems on two different lit mags will come out this June. I'm excited and it makes me happy - writing is the only reason I'm alive.
When did you first realize your affinity for poetry? What is your “origin” story?
I don't know, and I feel like I should, because everyone does, and they have such compeling stories to tell about how they discovered their love for poetry and shit like that, and all I know is that here I am, in this shithole of a competition full of people who write beautiful things and that I have to keep up with that. I don't even know the year I started, but I remember that I wrote Harry Potter fanfiction in 2011, which is amazing.
Which is your favorite genre to read? Which is your favorite to write?
Confessional. Not sure if it's a genre. I know nothing about genres, all I know is that I love to read and write poetry that says it all, makes shit hit the fan. But, I also like to read and write tongue-in-cheek poetry, you know, funny stuff to provide comic relief from all the trauma that confessional poetry carries.
Do you participate in spoken word/slam poetry? If so, where can we find your performances? How is writing spoken word different from ‘traditional’ poetry?
I don't. I live in a city in northeastern Brazil where poetry is a thing, there are lots of events where people read their poetry, but I don't feel ready to do it right now. I feel shy. Also I'm focusing on my poetry in English because I feel more comfortable writing in my second language. It's been years since I wrote any shit in Portuguese, so I don't even have material to show in a spoken-word event. Maybe I'll start working on that right now. I guess you just gave me that idea.
What is your ‘process’ for writing poetry?
I keep it Brazilian. Lots of swear words, lots of honesty. I'm aware that on one side, it's hard to relate to me, because I write about very specific events that I don't think many people have had in their lives, like doing five different drugs in one night and surviving to write about it, but it's also very easy to relate to me in the sense that everyone low-key is seeking attention, and I write about being an attention whore a lot - Therefore, this is also my process - To keep it relatable at some level. But it all starts with one word that comes to mind, that ends up being the poem's title.
Which do you prefer more: writing poetry or reading poetry?
Writing. My poetry is my voice. Of course I love to listen to other people's voices, but it's fucking funny I ended up being a poet because I don't enjoy mainstream poets at all, except for Sylvia Plath. I like poetry with big "fuck you"s and that are like "these bitches are shit". That's the poetry I like. Poems with anger, hate, all the bad energy getting out of the author and diving into the words.
When writing poetry, do you write from emotion? What usually inspires you? When putting together a chapbook/collection of poetry, what do you keep in mind? How do you keep it a cohesive piece of work?
I'm inspired by myself, and also by basically anything that happens to me, or people who come into my life, via web or via physical sightings. Regarding chapbooks and collections, I'm starting to work on one for the first time, and I'm keeping it confusing and nuts, just like my mind.
I know a lot of poets/novelists, writers in general, struggle with marketing themselves and their services. Have you ever encountered this feeling? If so, how did you overcome it?
Every fucking day. It's hell. I didn't overcome it. I had little success in placing my poems on lit mags, but I started submitting very recently, so I try to be nice to myself, for my mental health's sake. I hope I find a way to market my shit, but for now I'm just trying and trying and trying again.
Do you feel that social media has helped poets? Why or why not? If so, what platform do you believe has helped you the most with marketing yourself?
It did, but it didn't at the same time. I mean, look at Rupi Kaur - I don't like her stuff but you gotta respect a hard working girl who made it because of social media. It's amazing. But it also makes every writer on earth try to do the same, so the competition grows, and holy shit, it's one hell of a competition.
What are your methods for overcoming ‘writer’s block’? What do you do when you can’t seem to find inspiration?
I don't have writer's block. I have, like, the opposite of that. Too much inspiration. But, occasionally, I get too tired to write, from depression and stress and stuff, so I listen to music and lots of ideas come to mind. My tip for writer's block is facing writing as something entertaining, and I personally also feel like my whole being is here for entertainment, and that I will work with entertainment as long as I have to do karma stuff on this earth. In this incarnation, I think it's writing - But I hope in the next I get to be a pop star. That would be fun.
A lot of writers struggle with time management. Do you have a day job? If so, how do you balance work, writing (poetry and your novel), family, and personal time?
I don't do anything besides writing. I mean, I haven't had one bit of success for my hard work, but that's not because I'm not working enough, it's because I'm not naturally good at this thing and also because the market is fucking hard, with the internet and all that. It's not like I’m partying all the time instead of writing stuff. I don't even have any fun in life, all I do is work on my writing, really - I mean, occasionally I will have a bite of Hollywood film stuff, but whatever, I don't consider myself as a person who has fun with their life, I consider myself a hard working writer, and that's it.
You mentioned an interview series you’re conducting with ten young writers. Will you tell us more about this, please?
It's like an art-focused magazine, but it's different because it's local and focused on youth. It's a side project for now, but I'm in love with the whole concept of it. I interview small artists, including writers, and display their pieces. So far I only published one chick, but I'm talking to a few others guys, girls and non-binary folks. The goal is to make it big so two things can happen: One, i get the chance to promote small artists that are just like me, and two, I can profit from that and also pay the artists I make the articles about.
What change would you like to see within the writing community and why?
I want to see the lit mags that focus on other nationalities, LGBTQ and mental health grow as big as they can. I want to see a lot of marginalized people with angry poems grow as poets. Basically because they/we feel like we don't have a chance in the current market. But I've see this change over time already, I just hope it keeps changing.
Where do you expect to see yourself (as a writer) in the next five years? The next ten years?
I learned from this Hawaiian healing technique that I'm not supposed to expect anything, that I have to live in the present, so that will be my excuse for not having any fucking idea of where I will be in general in a month from now. I do enjoy writing and I'll probably write for as long as I'm fucking alive, but my real deal is to be a dad, even though people are always like 'how are you going to be a dad if you're a writer?' and the answer is I don't know, man, but I will be a dad and a writer somehow. And a good one in both of my jobs.
What do you want the readers to know about you?
Honestly? That I went through hell, but more importantly, that I'm back. And that they can come back too, if they're going through hell.
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