Reality and the Heart I am not so simple.
My heart does not jump in your arms when it sees that you care.
Nor does it desperately need another to use as armor to prevent it from dwindling.
Your eyes digging through mine, pleading for acceptance.
I break eye contact.
Ripping At the Seams
Oh, the ripping at my sides
I should probably hurry and decide How exactly I’m going to deal with this.
I’ve never been one to sew I look away and hope that they rip slow Never too fast, but simply in a calm flow.
The voices sometimes get too loud I don’t know the number, but it sure is a crowd.
The longer they speak, the faster they wrap me in the shroud.
Sometimes I accidentally look down
And notice myself coming unbound.
I then begin to panic
At the sight of my insides spilling out.
I seem to have forgotten how much time
Has passed by since this crime has been
committed.
One voice speaks out asking when will
Someone fix me?
Who will sew me back together and get rid of
This debris? Another screams out furiously rejecting that
Anyone will.
Everyone I’ve depended on to do so, only
Stayed for the thrill,
Then abandoned me as soon as I revealed how I
Too, was coming unbound.
Before long another voice speaks up saying that
To depend on another
Is to set my seams up for a violent ripping.
My mother never taught me well on how the world works.
She only taught me how it should work, and
That I should expect no less.
It didn’t become clear until I was older, that she
Too was ripping at her seams.
This world is so vulgar, the voices never stop
With their screams.
The ripping never stops tearing the seams, my sanity
Never will touch sanctity.
Healing Process
Day by day
Step by step
I find myself astray.
I’m slowly picking myself up
Doing my best to fix the corrupt
Pieces of me fallen apart from the pressure.
Slowly, I’m bringing myself back together
Over time I’ve had to tether every fallen bit of
Myself back together.
I feel almost whole.
Time and effort are what heals the soul.
Reigning from the suburban town of Fairfield, California, Marlena Dominique Chiles can be found binge watching the latest anime series or the Office. At the age of 24, Marlena is already a loving mother of one cat, with a serious addiction to sushi.